THE ROPE OF HOPE

Cold hands...jittery heart....exploding thoughts....

Waves of jitters start from the toes and poke the soul....

Its on my head and everywhere I go....

Cant seem to think beyond it....

Fear of uncertainity coupled with the mystery of the unknown...

Entangles me in a web......I'm trying...I'm fighting ...I'm hoping....

The problem is I dont know......the problem is nobody knows....

With a thousand exploding thoughts my head takes a quantum leap...

while my soul stays put...the jitters stay put dark and deep....

Coming in waves ....sweeping away the floor from below me...

Forget being sure...I need to atleast know.....

Show me a sign....

Send me the rope of hope

Hope & Faith

Hope, faith, optimism, patience, passion, & ambition.........
Fear, insecurity, pessimism, pity, greed , pride, ego...........
MY nurtured ego,my blatant over confidnce,my cruel intentions,my raging ambition......
every pat on my back inflated my ego.....
every word of praise raised the bar further....
the burden of expectations is nothing compared to the pressure of performance....
benchmarked by no one else but my self....
The me myself and I are at loggerheads with each other...
Taking the risk just for kicks.......
The hope of winning big takes me on a different trip...
secure and unhappy.......insecure and happy.....
choose your sides..mines clearly defined...
for my benefit they've been made for me.....
The cheek to look into my own eyes and face my own decisions....
This is what I mean when I say that my life is mine....
I am the master of my own success and the reason for my own failure.....
And the sun my freinds is no more than a fiery canvass to etch my name upon......
So look out for me......
I promise...You'll wanna be a part of my DESTINY........

When anger engulfs...

When anger engulfs....my thinking gets warped...
Objectivity is the need of the hour......
It pokes my ego.......trying in vain to deflate it....
I wont let that happen...what's mine is mine....and I'll make sure it remains mine....
My mind's racing in a thousand different directions....
I need to halt...I need to breath...I need not to think...
I cant help thinking...its ingrained....its me......
There's too much noise in my head...ear plugs wont work...
I cant escape it....I want to run away but the "me" in me wont let me.....
If this is the way its meant to be I mite as well succumb....smile and move on.....
Yeah I'm a fighter....tougher and stronger with every defeat....
So this is to the world out there..."BRING IT ON...."
I'll stay put.....I'm ready with my sleeves all rolled....waiting with my gloves on.....
You fucking BRING IT ON NOW...........

When I became MY own enemy !!

This peace is unsettling...
Coupled with uncertainity its almost exciting....
Makes me wanna look forward to the future...
My reason for being here remains...
Confused and perplexed....
Standing tall with my feelings all mixed...
Am I just loosing myself in the process...
Why do I always have to be so clueless...
Surer of what NOT to do that what to do....
Irony seems to be middle name....
No one can help me till I know what I want...
Why is a problem if "EVERYTHING" is all I want...
Nothing makes sense anymore....
Waiting for that one opportunity to knock my door...
Do I even have a door or have I just shut myself in a place so unreachable...
that finding myself is becoming a task...
My private equation with God remains...
I wish I could have this pact with him....
For every tear that i drop...i get a crore....
But is that actually what i want....to cry and cry and cray crores...
Thats something I wouldnt even wish for an enemy....
Hence proved...I am my own enemy...............