When I became MY own enemy !!

This peace is unsettling...
Coupled with uncertainity its almost exciting....
Makes me wanna look forward to the future...
My reason for being here remains...
Confused and perplexed....
Standing tall with my feelings all mixed...
Am I just loosing myself in the process...
Why do I always have to be so clueless...
Surer of what NOT to do that what to do....
Irony seems to be middle name....
No one can help me till I know what I want...
Why is a problem if "EVERYTHING" is all I want...
Nothing makes sense anymore....
Waiting for that one opportunity to knock my door...
Do I even have a door or have I just shut myself in a place so unreachable...
that finding myself is becoming a task...
My private equation with God remains...
I wish I could have this pact with him....
For every tear that i drop...i get a crore....
But is that actually what i want....to cry and cry and cray crores...
Thats something I wouldnt even wish for an enemy....
Hence proved...I am my own enemy...............